Vocations Sunday 2009 - Supplementary Material

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"Cold Calling" - a Sketch for Vocations Sunday, by Peter Kimberley

This is a drama to introduce the challenge (and sometimes confusion) that all of us face when called to follow Jesus. It echoes the calling that Jesus gave to his first disciples to become fishers of men. It places the Gospel in the present day with Jesus receiving a "cold call" from an unsuspecting double glazing salesman, Simon Peters, who hasn’t sold a lot recently...

Characters: Jesus, Simon Peters.

Props: Two telephones, a newspaper.

Jesus:                   (Reading newspaper, when telephone rings). Hello.

Simon Peters:        Hello, is that Mr Nazareth, a Mr J Nazareth?

Jesus:                    Er, yes, I’m Mr Nazareth.

Simon Peters:        Hello, I’m Simon Peters from Super Seal Windows and Doors. Can I ask you if you’ve considered double-glazing recently?

Jesus:                    Well no, I haven’t.

Simon Peters:        Super Seal Windows are in your area and we can give you a very special rate on all our finest products. 10 years guarantee, Ilkington Glass and Whale double locking security bolts. We are the finest windows in the land!

Jesus:                    But I don’t want any windows.

Simon Peters:        No, sir, you are missing a real opportunity here.

Jesus:                    No windows, thank you.

Simon Peters:        Porch then, our super deluxe porches are burglar and milkman and paperboy proof!

Jesus:                    No thank you, I don’t need a porch.

Simon Peters:        A conservatory then. Our conservatory has just won the industry award for finest fittings 2009.

Jesus:                    No thank you, I don’t need a conservatory.

Simon Peters:        A loft conversion, then, we now offer a fully guaranteed loft fitting service. Sky lights, low lights, planning permission no problem.

Jesus:                    No thank you.

Simon Peters:        There must be something you need!

Jesus:                    Well now that you mention it, there is something I need.

Simon Peters:        See I knew it what can Super Seal Windows and Doors do for you Sir.

Jesus:                    Actually it’s not something I need it’s someone.

Simon Peters:        Sorry?

Jesus:                    Yes, I need someone, in fact I need you, Simon Peters.

Simon Peters:        Me. You need me? Why me -  I can’t even sell windows! I haven’t sold a single pane of glass all week and it’s Friday already.

Jesus:                    Yes, I need you to sell for me.

Simon Peters:        Sell, for you, what am I to sell?

Jesus:                    The world’s greatest ever savings scheme.

Simon Peters:        Better than Northern Rocks?

Jesus:                    Oh yes much better than Northern Rocks. In fact it’s the only saving people really need.

Simon Peters:        What the interest rate like? It sounds expensive to me - it’ll never sell.

Jesus:                    I believe it’s very interesting. Oh no, it’s not expensive at all. In fact it’s free. I’m giving it away. You see I save you. Oh and all the people who follow me. Salvation and life ever after free, all you have to do is follow me. In fact I’ve started preparing rooms for my followers already.

Simon Peters:        Free you say? Salvation and life ever after, rooms already prepared, even I could sell that! What’s the commission like in your company?

Jesus:                    Commission, what’s that?

Simon Peters:        Oh never mind - count me in!  When do I start?

Jesus:                    Right Now.

(see Mark 1:14-40)

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